so your favourite stores are having “THE BIGGEST BLOWOUT SALE OF EVER” & you want a piece. here’s some advice on how to make it out alive on boxing day. for anyone working retail today… we salute you.
1) leave the hoop earrings at home. while you’re at it… forget the nails. in fact, be as aerodynamic as humanly possible. this will not only give you an upper hand during battle but will also make avoiding changeroom lineups easier.
2) wear sensible shoes. steel toe in case things get serious. you too, grandma.
3) avoid the bathroom lineups. at all costs.
4) stay hydrated.
5) pack a couple of sedatives in case the kids start slowin ya down.